Masking Narcissism with Charity

As a person who lived with many different families as a child, dealing with severe physical and emotional trauma in almost all of these families, I understand perfectly, how narcissistic people use charity to cover their sickness. 

I have also discovered the family chain, connecting fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers to using the same strategy to perfect their selfish ambitions.

To begin, I tell the story of two relatives who began a life long competition, by trying to competing their entire lives to have more friends than the other, until it develops into fierce hate and envy.  They grow up and have children, carrying the hate and envy into new circles and generations.

Now one of these family members, due to mistakes, out of her total control, ends up with six children with two different husbands, down the road.  She is now homeless and her parents have found homes for the children, with some of these same relatives, who were part of this hate and envy towards this fallen mother. 

Sadly to say, this is a true story, and I will not mention names, because of further hate and damage this may cause.

I was one of these children, and this fallen mother was my birth mom.  I was born into this world of homelessness.  I lived with many of my aunts and other family members, literally paying physically, emotionally and in every other way possible. 

I have endured abuse from from all of these family members who took me in to mask their life long hate filled Narcissism, with Charity.  Beating me down physically, mentally and in every other way you can imagine. 

I went from having above average grades, to horrible grades in high school as the abuse became more and more frequent.  I moved to different families as I ran away from the abuse, only to find that it existed in more places than one, and I was the punching bag of guilt. 

I fought through the pain and emotions and until I barely graduated High School in Moorpark, CA then finally growing my relationship with God, enough to leave on a Mission, working in the Dominican Republic. 

It may have been a mistake, from the point of view of a church member, or another misinformed family member.  Even if I felt relief as I finally took my flight out of the USA, away from all of the evil surrounding the family.

Sadly it continued with many others in the family, including other children not of my own mother.

As a missionary in the Dominican Republic, I studied, reading book after book, meeting people, keeping busy.  My mind was free.  I could not be hit, physically or emotionally by anyone who could do any more personal damage. 

The days were up and down.  In the beginning I did great work, teaching and helping dozens of families who needed Christ, and even to break free from alcoholism, drugs, and other major challenges. 

A few months into my Dominican Mission. I found myself with more friends and attention than I had ever known in my entire life.  I even felt an attachment to one of the amazing people I baptized, later became my wife and mother of my four children. 

As the mission was ending, I began having panic attacks, thinking of ways to hide and never return home.  It was prohibited by the Church and I had no idea how it would even be possible.  The Church even held on to my passport for safety reasons, especially important due to the crime that exists and the pain in getting a replacement.

I created bonds before I left, mostly with the family of my wife (not wife at the time), and with the hope to return soon, staying away from family issues. 

Most of the family had moved north to another state, and I returned to one of the families that I grew up with, out of pressure from the leader of my Church.  I later found out he was contacted by this Narcissistic family member, masked as Charity, to pressure me.  It was the beginning of a whole new nightmare.

Another eight months, three families, and six jobs later, I was finally on a flight back to the Dominican Republic, with only ten dollars left in my pocket. 

It was not easy as a homeless American in the Dominican Republic, but mentally I was in heaven.  

My friends took me in, I finally dated and married my wife. 

I started to take classes and was unable to gain an educational visa, allowing me to graduate, so instead I took the classes and taught classes, enough to become an English teacher. 

I started writing a book on an old fashioned typewriter, typing hundreds of pages of a fictional story I will post later.  I spent the next five years in a mental paradise, working, raising my family, studying and preparing for the future. 

Back in the USA, the family was happy to have me out of the picture, until one of the main Church Leaders requested that my grandfather assist me and my family in returning to the USA.  He was unaware of the Narcissism in the family and insisted that some of these same abusive family members help us out. 

I am grateful for the help they gave me and my family, but the battle was even worse than before upon our moving to the USA.  This time it was going to harm my wife and kids.

Masking Narcissism with Charity is the perfect way to describe people who help someone, only because someone important is watching, or for personal gain, political gain, family political gain, or to just to torture the person in question, or even to give the middle finger to the mother enemy of this Narcissist. 

You can see it everywhere, from Presidential candidates, church members and leaders, brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers.  Business owners and more.  No category is free from people with this sickness. 

Do you remember the Charity you have given?  You shouldn't, Right?

Weather you helped a friend move, or helped him pay his bills.  If you are expecting something in return, you are more like a bank, than a friend. 

Do you expect a favor in return?  Money?

Can you live without the favor, or the money? 

Depending on your answer, you can see the truth.

Do you help people, expecting some form of payment, or respect later, and still spread to others what you have done, in order to build yourself up, or tear down the other?  You are masking your Narcissism with Charity!

I have seen Narcissism mask Charity in almost every form possible.  I have dedicated my life to teaching my wife and kids how to avoid it, and how to see people who use it, infected by its appeal.

It's a sickness, leading to Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, in the children of these abusers, sometimes creating Narcissists in their own children.  It is sad and dangerous to all who are caught in their paths. 

I have a feeling that all religions who allow ascension of power will eventually create Narcissists who will mask their sickness with Charity.

God protect us all from this zombie like disease.